A Leap of Faith

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“I want my parents to see Billy Elliot.” The boy and I were discussing Marco Polo and history of Europe in the 1200s, looking at sources from his textbook and encyclopedias. The remark seemed out of context, but whatever the connection or association, I was curious to know more. The boy’s eyes rested on me. Serious. This was no fly-by thought.

“Oh?” I commented, “I heard good things about it. What about it do you want them to see?”

He paused. Fiddled with his pen, checked the time. “I’m not sure,” he mumbled, fiddled more. “Actually …” he looked up, “I want to play the cello.”

The boy has been taking guitar lessons this past year. An athletic guy, his parents thought he was better suited for sports, which he is indeed very good at and loves doing. They were not against the guitar lessons, though they admitted hoping that those were only a passing internet music-video inspired fad.

I just listened. There was more there. I was sure.

“I like playing guitar, but I really love cello. Only thing is .., it’s for like, classic music …” his eyes met mine and then he looked away, stared at his lap. “For orchestra and stuff, you know … nerd stuff.”

“Hmm,” I mused. “People use cellos in other kinds of music, but I get what you’re saying, even though I never thought of cello players as nerds.”

He blushed. “I don’t think they are. I think its beautiful music …” his blush deepened. “I don’t want my dad to think I’m a nerd or like … soft.”

My impression of the father was of a caring, all American, be-my-boy’s-best-buddy kind of dad. They often went to sports events together, traveled to see their favorite teams, bonded over tailgate parties. The boy loved it. And had other interests now, too …

“So … Billy Elliot …” I noted gently.

“Yeah … so they understand I want this, even if it’s kind of different. Is it kind of different?” he looked up, hopeful for denial.

“Personally, I don’t think so. I think music is a lot like a sport–you have to practice, you have to keep at it, you have to love it to do it, and it can also be very satisfying. It is even often kind of a team sport, with players needing to coordinate and work together …”

He gave me the almost-teenage lopsided grin that tells adults that they were doing an okay job in cheering up but their game was up and the comparison was barely passing. “Try telling that to my dad …” he chuckled, not quite mirthfully. He sighed. “My guitar teacher said I have good finger skills,” his voice was hesitant but a warble of pride was evident. “He let me try a cello that he plays sometimes. It felt so right …”

His whole face lit up when he said that.

“So … I want my parents to see Billy Elliot. I told my grandmother. She said she’d get them tickets … for next week.” He pushed on then, his speech suddenly urgent, rapid, “you see, there’s this summer camp, and it is for music … and I can do cello there. Not all summer, just three weeks … I can still go to the other camp, because that one’s only through July … and the music camp is in August … so I could still do both …”

I smiled.

“… they still have openings–my grandma checked–but we have to register, like, now … so … I want them to see Billy Elliot.” He chuckled, a bit tensely, “I’m thinking, it is a lot less nerdy than dancing … so maybe my dad will be, like, relieved that it’s ‘only’ the cello … My grandma said she’ll back me up …”

“I will, too,” I grinned. “Take the leap. Go for it. Try it out. If this is what you really love, then it is wonderful to find it. And if not, then you will still have tried something new that felt worth exploring.”

“Exploring … right,” he grinned. “Back to Marco Polo, huh?”

take risks

Green Magic

Small child in tight braids under sticker-emblazoned helmet, hands holding on to pink scooter handles, stands at park’s entry: “Mommy, see the trees!”

Mom (typing one-handed on smartphone while pushing the child’s scooter with the other): “Yes, honey, very nice.”

“MOMMY!” 

Mom, still on automatic: “Don’t yell, sweetie. I’m right here.”

The kid glances upwards, stamps: “No you’re not.”

Slightly startled, Mom looks up. Frowns, puzzled.

“You in the phone!”

Quick blush. “Sorry hon. I had to return that email real fast.”

“But you missing the best part! Look at the trees, Mommy! They didn’t have leaves and now they have green magic all over! The green magic won!”

 

Take a look outside!

Take a walk. Find a bench. Breathe in spring.

And you’ll see … just how right:

The green magic made a most magnificent entry.

Luxuriously verdant

It utterly, certainly, brilliantly won!

green magic

Tenderness

tenderness

May tenderness infuse your heart

In every turn you take

May warmth envelope every day

And soften all your cares

May awe and joy flow in your soul

Like sunbeams in the air

May your see caring, everywhere.

It is already there.

tenderness1

 

tenderness4

 

tenderness3

tenderness2

 

Love Mothers

mother

To all the mothers

And all who mother:

Happy Mother’s Day.

To all who listen, hold, support, 

Who remember the small things that matter

Who kiss the hurts 

Hug the sorrows,

Who shine with pride and

Cheer the loudest as they 

Clap delight:

Happy Mother’s Day.

To those who raise from babies 

or late childhood 

or adulthood.

To those who foster safety

Where none was before.

To those who make a home

For hours, days, a week, a life time

And write upon the slate of heart to let one know

That to be mothered, is to be loved:

Happy Mother’s Day.

To all the mothers

Biological, adoptive, temporary or forever

To all who open hearts to others

Just because they know

That love can mother

And that mothering

Can heal

And so they do:

Happy Mother’s Day.

And may you be loved

And mothered,

Too.

love mothers

Life Lived

life lived2

There’s immense beauty in life lived. In every wrinkle bought by time and much expression. It is evident, open, there to see. There is beauty in the well-lined faces of elders. In our own. They are pathways earned by living. Furrows sewn by memory and feeling. Intricate etchings of how one came–and still comes–into one’s own, how spirit’s grown.

A little boy of four told me the other day: “My granny is very pretty. She has lots of lines all over her face like spider webs because she’s old. She gets more lines every year for her birthday. I like her face. It is so soft and her eyes love me.”

There is history to tenderness and respect for the older. Many native traditions venerate their elders and hold their wisdom in high interest and regard. They know that life leaves marks, and most of them are well-earned knowledge. The lines upon a person’s face reflect not decline or oddly shameful claims of “one’s age showing” but rather are a mirror to a person’s wisdom, depth, growth.

Many of us have lost the Way, in modern times. In the rush to seek erasing life from our expressions, we’re urged to look away from those who forged before, who cleared the paths, who taught us all we know. We are expected to see wrinkled faces as what we should fear becoming. It is our own life we deny when we do not accept that we would none of us be had it not been for the elders’ lives, how it is now our history. The aged’s perspective is what holds our own horizon steady. They know of corners we do not yet see for we are in too low a vantage point, compared. Their faces show it. Maps of living. Losing sight of it is losing part our ourselves, of what we may have the blessing to become sometime later be.

The little boy who sees his granny’s life etched in the softness of her face and the love in her eyes–he gets it. His priorities are calibrated. He sees the beauty of life lived, not the images peddled by companies seeking fortunes by telling people lies: that life reverses, that years should not be seen, that age that shows is somehow shameful and wrinkles should be believed to depict a worn-out living, unworthy of respect. The opposite is real, and this child’s vision is clear, aligned with Truth: that the paths we walk become a part of us. That our beauty lies in our compassion, in what we learned of ourselves and others, in how we live. Beauty is not measured in complexion or in how well we do in life’s erasing.

If only more could see. The beauty of life lived. Reflected.

I am someplace in early middle years. Not nearly old enough to spider-web, but in the place where I receive a few new gifts of wrinkles for each birthday, and hopefully some of the wisdom they can depict of some experience. I see them, welcome into my visage: laugh lines, small remembering of oft expression, better understanding of the interplay of gravity on time and skin.

The same little boy looked at me the other day, his eyes full of inspection, his young forehead creased lightly in concentration. He searched my face. Lifted a hand to my cheek. “You have some wrinkles, too,” he noted. That’s pretty.” He sighed. Satisfied. 

life lived1

life lived

In Memoriam to The Fallen

 

memorial candle flag

yom-hazikaron-memorial-day-

In this evening and upcoming day of Memorial

As Israel remembers its fallen

As parents, siblings, loved ones weep and mourn:

Let it be the last day of new pain

Let there be

Please, oh God

No more war.

Anywhere.

No more dead, no more graves

No more maimed

No more grieving.

Let the bloodshed be ended.

Let the warmongering cease.

Let those who entice pain, find ways of words.

Let those who live hate, open hearts, make new doors.

There’s a way.

No more war.

We’re all people.

All someone’s baby, sibling, loved one, neighbor, friend

We all share more than what can divide us

We all hurt, love, hope, bleed.

No more violence.

There is no need.

Let there be

Hearts that open

Light to hold, hope to share, peace to mold.

Let there be

No more war.

As we weep for the fallen

As we remember what happened and wished that did not

As we tally the terrible price

The unnecessary ripping

Every death, every wounding

Agonises an ache in our hearts

A hole in our souls

Let there be

From now on

No more war.

peace can do better

no more war