May tenderness infuse your heart
In every turn you take
May warmth envelope every day
And soften all your cares
May awe and joy flow in your soul
Like sunbeams in the air
May your see caring, everywhere.
It is already there.
To all the mothers
And all who mother:
Happy Mother’s Day.
To all who listen, hold, support,
Who remember the small things that matter
Who kiss the hurts
Hug the sorrows,
Who shine with pride and
Cheer the loudest as they
Clap delight:
Happy Mother’s Day.
To those who raise from babies
or late childhood
or adulthood.
To those who foster safety
Where none was before.
To those who make a home
For hours, days, a week, a life time
And write upon the slate of heart to let one know
That to be mothered, is to be loved:
Happy Mother’s Day.
To all the mothers
Biological, adoptive, temporary or forever
To all who open hearts to others
Just because they know
That love can mother
And that mothering
Can heal
And so they do:
Happy Mother’s Day.
And may you be loved
And mothered,
Too.
I bet you have such days …
When things don’t seem to work as expected, when all your plans fall through and what you thought would take two minutes takes two hours. When that quick phone call to settle some bitty thing becomes forty-five minutes of muzak followed by a hang-up then forty minutes more before you get transferred again, only to be put on hold for speaking to another department … When the quick break for a sandwich becomes condiments that spritz in the wrong direction, an upset can of cookies (complete with crumbs), a shattered glass requiring three broom cycles and a vacuum … Days when one client after the other is either late, cranky, moody, muddy, or all. When the world becomes an exercise in patience, a realigning of time and expectations.
These days sure happen to me all too often. I bet you have them, too.
It used to get my blood-pressure up, to have things unexpected. In general I do not much care for surprises. My friends and family know that I’m not the person to plan dark roomed “Happy Birthday!” parties to. No thanks. I like knowing what to expect and having a bit of opportunity to see how to best manage stuff that happens. Good or bad. So having a kink in my day never was my recipe for happy.
Nowadays, though it does not rank high on my preferred-day way, it mostly makes me chuckle. I figure that it is a pause for learning, something to call my attention to doing too much, too fast, or with too little an awareness. The unexpected grounds me faster than a cup of cold water (sometimes it IS spilled or splashed cold water … in a double-attention-getter …). It stops me into “what just happened?” and “how on earth …?” And that very pausing stirs a breeze of mindfulness into my brain.
So, while I still don’t like to spend my lunch break sweeping shards, cleaning counters, or on the phone with some ‘press-this, press-that’ company; I try to see it as something that helps to pace me or to point to where I have lost touch with the clock that is not of this world. Where I have turned too low the timer within me, the ticking of my body, the breath that should not become fogged by too much thought or busyness.
I still get stunned–surprises do that to me. But I take a breath, as well. And chuckle. Laugh a bit into myself. The ridiculousness of it all helps me find the gratitude that’s tangled with the grunt and sigh. It is a gift, really, when everyday tasks that I’ve done a million times without awareness bring back the reality of how complex they truly are, and how blessed I am to be able to perform them mostly sans a thought or pause or conscious memory. It is even a precious thing to have the things I usually take for granted–a company to call to make things right (or try to), the vocation I love living, the freedom to set my schedule, the miracles of water in my faucet and electric power at my finger tips. So many do not have those and would gladly take a spilled cup for having the water flowing to begin with.
And suddenly the disruption is not so terrible and the wait is not so bad. This realignment of meaning helps shift me, even if the situation stays the same. I get the best ideas, sometimes, when I’m on hold, a captive audience, forced to still and listen. The muzak goes right through me. It is my own thoughts that unfurl, birthing new ideas. I am reminded of the most arcane and unexpected and forgotten things when I am climbing to change yet another light-bulb that went zip a moment before session, or rush to change a stained article of clothing before a client comes. Somehow these unplanned, often unwanted, wrinkles in my planning pause me long enough to bring in an unseen angle or perspective.
Don’t get me wrong: I still do love my little islands of predictability. It is lovely when days go just as I had planned (or at least close to), and when my energy is parsed the way I’d hoped. It doesn’t take much for me to run out, you see. Some hiccups in my autonomic nervous system makes my body ultra-prone to fast exhaustion. Weather changes, temperature shifts, being vertical too long–they can and do seriously tire me. And yet, I am not frail. Just living with a finicky apparatus. All the more reason, one might declare, to not live life too gingerly as if on eggshells (please, oh please only figuratively! I’ve cleaned the kitchen once already, courtesy of spilled coffee grounds this very day …).
For days when patience is a bit harder to come by? “Just make it work” is my mantra of sorts for those. I have not invented it, of course. People all over our blue Earth marble have been saying it in all manner of variations, for longer than my mind can fathom, and while facing far more difficulty than I usually have to endure.
Small hitches in the schedule? Unexpected hiccups? Murphy working overtime to make life inexplicably complicated? I remind myself that it is all workable. Sometimes the solution is immediate, sometimes it takes time (I would sure love to know the schedule, though, Dear Universe, if you are listening!). Sometimes I can resolve it on my own, sometimes only with serious creative collaboration.
Either way, when the Universe throws a wench in my today and threatens to mess up my tomorrows, I try breathing smiles into it. A chuckle, even, if I can. Extra points for finding blessings in the messes … Gold stars for managing cooperation in the least likely ways or with those I do not find it easy to collaborate with.
I’m reminded of a photo of Paris in flood in 1924. People faced the very wet prospect of ruined shoes and clothing given that the only possibility was trudge calf-deep in watery plazas. Or was it really the only way? In ingenuity, someone or some ones, came up with a creative (if rickety) solution … and wrangled up some cafe chairs …
There’s immense beauty in life lived. In every wrinkle bought by time and much expression. It is evident, open, there to see. There is beauty in the well-lined faces of elders. In our own. They are pathways earned by living. Furrows sewn by memory and feeling. Intricate etchings of how one came–and still comes–into one’s own, how spirit’s grown.
A little boy of four told me the other day: “My granny is very pretty. She has lots of lines all over her face like spider webs because she’s old. She gets more lines every year for her birthday. I like her face. It is so soft and her eyes love me.”
There is history to tenderness and respect for the older. Many native traditions venerate their elders and hold their wisdom in high interest and regard. They know that life leaves marks, and most of them are well-earned knowledge. The lines upon a person’s face reflect not decline or oddly shameful claims of “one’s age showing” but rather are a mirror to a person’s wisdom, depth, growth.
Many of us have lost the Way, in modern times. In the rush to seek erasing life from our expressions, we’re urged to look away from those who forged before, who cleared the paths, who taught us all we know. We are expected to see wrinkled faces as what we should fear becoming. It is our own life we deny when we do not accept that we would none of us be had it not been for the elders’ lives, how it is now our history. The aged’s perspective is what holds our own horizon steady. They know of corners we do not yet see for we are in too low a vantage point, compared. Their faces show it. Maps of living. Losing sight of it is losing part our ourselves, of what we may have the blessing to become sometime later be.
The little boy who sees his granny’s life etched in the softness of her face and the love in her eyes–he gets it. His priorities are calibrated. He sees the beauty of life lived, not the images peddled by companies seeking fortunes by telling people lies: that life reverses, that years should not be seen, that age that shows is somehow shameful and wrinkles should be believed to depict a worn-out living, unworthy of respect. The opposite is real, and this child’s vision is clear, aligned with Truth: that the paths we walk become a part of us. That our beauty lies in our compassion, in what we learned of ourselves and others, in how we live. Beauty is not measured in complexion or in how well we do in life’s erasing.
If only more could see. The beauty of life lived. Reflected.
I am someplace in early middle years. Not nearly old enough to spider-web, but in the place where I receive a few new gifts of wrinkles for each birthday, and hopefully some of the wisdom they can depict of some experience. I see them, welcome into my visage: laugh lines, small remembering of oft expression, better understanding of the interplay of gravity on time and skin.
The same little boy looked at me the other day, his eyes full of inspection, his young forehead creased lightly in concentration. He searched my face. Lifted a hand to my cheek. “You have some wrinkles, too,” he noted. That’s pretty.” He sighed. Satisfied.
In this evening and upcoming day of Memorial
As Israel remembers its fallen
As parents, siblings, loved ones weep and mourn:
Let it be the last day of new pain
Let there be
Please, oh God
No more war.
Anywhere.
No more dead, no more graves
No more maimed
No more grieving.
Let the bloodshed be ended.
Let the warmongering cease.
Let those who entice pain, find ways of words.
Let those who live hate, open hearts, make new doors.
There’s a way.
No more war.
We’re all people.
All someone’s baby, sibling, loved one, neighbor, friend
We all share more than what can divide us
We all hurt, love, hope, bleed.
No more violence.
There is no need.
Let there be
Hearts that open
Light to hold, hope to share, peace to mold.
Let there be
No more war.
As we weep for the fallen
As we remember what happened and wished that did not
As we tally the terrible price
The unnecessary ripping
Every death, every wounding
Agonises an ache in our hearts
A hole in our souls
Let there be
From now on
No more war.
Today, I marvel at the universality
Of love.
At the way deep care connects us all.
And should. And can.
How it forms us.
How it spells the words of heart upon a child’s new soul.
How it breathes hope into desperation.
How it nourishes across languages and color, tradition, race, religion, state, connecting all.
How it writes upon the slate of birth
And opportunity.
How it shapes resilience to withstand strife and sorrow.
How it holds through thick and thin, through calm and turmoil.
Today, I marvel at the universality,
At the miracle.
Of love.
So utterly expected
So innately ordained
So perfectly humane
Yet so often bent by apathy, oblivion, ignorance, senseless hate, violence, disdain.
The very shock we feel at its absence
In itself speaks volumes
Of Love’s natural flow.
Its ingrained, spirit-sustaining need.
The bounty of fortitude and growth that it can seed.
Today,
I marvel at the awesome
Touching
Never mundane
Breathtakingly beautiful
Universality of love.
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