Photo prompt: © Jennifer Pendergast
There was nothing left to stay for.
Not much to pack, but still he managed to stuff the duffel with odds and ends. More for feel than for utility.
He won’t be coming back.
The empty cars stood, cooling, on the rails. There was an echo in his bones even with no movement. Even without any sound.
He scanned for danger. One never knew, and he had had enough surprises.
When nothing stirred, he climbed aboard. The metal floor smelled of pee and rats, but at least he’d sleep with a wall at his back tonight, a door barred shut.
For Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers
Na'ama Yehuda 
Sounds like he’s hit rock bottom. Hopefully the only way is up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah. Or the world has. I’m not sure if these empty cars are going anyplace. Or, if they are, where to. Looks kinda deserted all around. Still, lets hope it is on the way up from there!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wherever he is going, he seems convinced it will be better than what he is leaving. I sure hope so for him!
Good one (as per ..)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen, yes, I agree – he is convinced it would be better, for now at least, compared. xoxo my friend!
LikeLiked by 1 person
xoxo right back atcha!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just to have a wall against your back means danger can come from only one direction
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed, and sometimes it makes all the difference to survival or to the feeling of being able to cope.
LikeLike
Loved the line ‘there’s an echo in his bones ….’ Very evocative! Grim story very well told!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! The photo is very evocative, so it led the way! …
LikeLiked by 1 person
Na’ama Y’karah,
Your story hits all the senses, including olfactory. The last line makes me want to turn the page to read more. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Rochelle! I hope your travels so far have rewarded all the senses with things better than the olfactory stimuli in this little story … Hugzees!
LikeLike
You write it like you’re with him… and you take us with you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Crispina! I must say I have a slight preference for better accommodations, though … Wanna come with to look for something better? 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
🙂 Thanks for the offer 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 Yeah, never been much for old empty train cars frequented by pee and rats … 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Its the rats I don’t like!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep. I’m not TOO KEEN on the smell of pee, though that, I suppose, can be cleaned … 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I live in a port. We don’t often see them… but rats aplenty there are here
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah. Lots of them in NYC, too, and I’m happy enough not seeing too much of them – though they certainly are there, on the subway tracks, in basements, on the sidewalks in some area at night trying to get at the garbage … etc.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Man’s companon these past many centuries
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep. True.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A new beginning beckons, away from danger it seems. An intriguing tale indeed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen to that Keith, and to new beginnings away from danger!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do hope that whatever is ahead for him is better than what he is leaving behind, but I certainly want to know more about his circumstances and what makes him leave.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Gabriella. Yes, I hope that the future holds better for him than the circumstances he’d just left. Whatever they were, I’m pretty certain they were dire and desolate. Thank you for this comment!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Safe and secure, if not comfortable.
LikeLiked by 1 person
indeed. Sometimes one starts where one can and makes do with the basics.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You could write a whole book on what happened to bring him to this place. Good one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Linda. I guess I could, eh? Love these little stories exactly because so much of the time there is so much more behind them! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
godspeed. i hope he finds what he’s looking for.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen to that! Thanks Plaridel!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know that feeling. Sometimes, where matters less than just getting the hell out of the frying pan, fire or not. Great flash story, Na’ama.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Bill. Yep, sometime you gotta do what you gotta do to first of all get the hell outta Dodge …
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like the beginning of an adventure. Throwing fate into the wind. Future unknown. So much can be expanded upon. Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep. Who knows where it might take him. Or if at all. And on both questions – why …
LikeLiked by 1 person
A story that is full of atmosphere. I am glad that we don’t have smell ability on FF.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep, I’ve disabled the ‘smell-a-story’ on my computer, too … 😉
LikeLike
That’s is for the best.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Probably …
LikeLike
Yep, some decisions have to be final – no looking back. Good luck, I say.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s true. Sometimes that’s the only reasonable thing to do …
LikeLiked by 1 person
Makes me wonder what the circumstances are and why he has so few belongings.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed … I can think of more than one possibility, and none of them are pleasant …
LikeLiked by 1 person