As promised in the previous post, the video above is a recording of my virtual presentation from June 3, 2020, titled: “Does He Even Know How To Be loved?” Challenges in Adoptions of Traumatized Children.”
The hour-long presentation was requested by and offered through Haruv USA, which provides professional development and training on trauma-related topics, to professionals and interested individuals. The presentation is available on YouTube.
Feel free to leave comments or ask questions. Please note that comments are public, so if you want to ask questions more confidentially, please use the contact Na’ama Yehuda page.
Na'ama Yehuda 
I watched almost through to the end. I’m gonna have to come back to it
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Thanks Crispina! It ain’t going anyplace, so come back any time! 🙂 So glad you’re watching it! 🙂
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did 45 minutes. I want to do the rest
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🙂 yay!
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It was interesting.
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🙂 Makes me happy. 🙂
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My interest? I wonder how children split between parents, or mother and grandparents are affected?
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“split” as in having several caregivers? Or as in moving between households at different times? Or as being adopted by grandparents because parents lost custody?
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Divided during the week, but when the ideas of grandparents clash with those of parents, thus creating a divide, a pull in two directions.
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I think that children who get ‘good enough’ care from their caregivers, can learn to navigate different sets of rules and even contradicting rules from different caregivers (i.e. one home no TV, other home “yes TV”). It is more complicated when they are called to ‘pledge allegiance’ to one set of caregivers or pick sides (i.e. say who is better, keep secrets, etc) and become pawns in what is really about the adults, and not about the child … that we get into difficult and dysregulating territory (as can happen with high-conflict divorce, for example). So it is less about having multiple homes or caregivers or even different views of caregivers, and perhaps more about the care being about the CHILD’s needs and not about the ADULT’s needs at the expense of the child. Does that make sense?
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It does. I have seen several cases of split care, and seen the child become adult with various issues. Hence my interest
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Yes, I think it really depends. There can be caregivers who navigate split care in a way that keeps the CHILD in the center of care … and there are those who make the child a pawn and put THEMSELVES as the center of care … including expecting the child to take care of THEIR emotions and needs … And the latter does not bode well for children’s well-being.
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I have seen most of the latter kind… and worse, where the child is weaponised
Those were never my duties, I was just the information officer in a community-focused charity. But you can’t close your eyes
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Indeed, those are the worst.
And … yes, you cannot close your eyes, and it is always hard to see a child being exploited. 😦
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It wasn’t my role in that job. Mine was just to make people aware of what services were available. I liaised a lot with the racial equality people. It was somewhat different to my previous job, as a theatre manager. But then it was purposely chosen. I wanted t give something back to the community., Didn’t realise it would wreck my health. But… that’s life, hey. Sacrifice was worth it.
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Wow. Yeah, sounds like you were able to give back AND … I’m sorry for the cost to your health. That’s tough!
As long as we all do the best we can as we can do it, I think we live a life well lived. Which does not mean an easy one …
xo
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yea, agreed 🙂
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🙂
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