Photo Prompt © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
He wondered if the trains will still run after it happens.
If the luggage, piled in little mountains of possessions, will wait patiently for familiar fingers that won’t come, or will surrender, indifferent, to any rummaging hand.
If there’d be any.
When its all said and done.
He felt the urge to check his watch but curbed it. The digits never changed sufficiently when you were waiting.
Instead, he let his eyes glide over the other passengers, then up the columns where the dual landing strips awaited the incoming spaceships, already brightly lit.
Had to mean it was almost time.
For Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers
The trains will still run for a while. And then gradually, one after another, they’ll stop
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What an image that makes!!! Thanks, Neil!
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You capture the emotion of the instant with precision and elegance. “If the luggage, piled in little mountains of possessions, will wait patiently for familiar fingers that won’t come, or will surrender, indifferent, to any rummaging hand.” That sentence is an exquisite piece of writing.
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Thank you, Penny! 🙂
I had seen deserted/forgotten/lost luggage in airports before, and it always struck me as intensely sad: a lonesomeness to the luggage that reflected perhaps those who were looking for it and didn’t know where it was, or forgotten by someone who wasn’t well, or abandoned for whatever reasons by someone who could not come to collect it … It was highlighted by the experience I once had, which I might write about in another piece. …
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Na’ama Y’karah,
You surprised me with the space ships. I was expecting him to be a terrorist knowing when the bomb would go off. Nonetheless I felt the lump in the pit of my stomach awaiting impending doom. Perhaps the aliens will be benevolent. Well written story in any event.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ah, well, surprise is a good thing in flash-fiction, so I hope it was a bit of a relief that this was ‘only’ aliens (if they are at all that, for we don’t know if this character is all fine in the head or more than a tad paranoid or just wallowing in some overactive imagination or who knows…). But, yeah, I root for no gloom and doom and benevolent aliens, if they are to come. A point of hope is that these ‘landing strips’ are for pretty small space ships so … pocket aliens? 😉
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There may come such a day….
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Indeed there may!
Who’s to say?
They may be already on their way … 😉
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A really beautifully put together piece, fantastic use of prose
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Thank you! 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and commenting!
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Trying to be positive – maybe they could even make the trains run on time for a change! 🙂
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Ah! Now, THAT’s a thought! I can see them using telepathy to prevent crashes, snags, and other not-on-time-makers … and using all manner of magical-to-us ways to keep them moving and on time! 😉
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the ending came as a surprise. i didn’t expect it. great twist. 🙂
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🙂 Twists in FlashFiction is part of the fun! Glad this one worked!!! 🙂
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Beam me up Scotty!
The story only just began. Nice job.
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LOL, may it not ‘end’ as soon as it began, though … 😉
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A terrific little tale, beautifully written.
My FriFic tale!
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Thanks, Keith! 🙂 Was fun to dabble in that one.
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Pre apocalyptic story – intriguing.
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🙂 My jury is out as to whether it is REALLY going to be spaceships coming in (small ones, if the size of the columns as runways are any indication …) or it’s just one person’s feverish imagination after being bored beyond reason … For humanity’s sake, I hope the latter … 😉
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Besides the fabulous writing, I love how this can be interpreted in so many ways… this could all be the poor gent’s imaginings, eh? Course, any time you have to spend too much time in an airport, you lose a bit of your marbles.
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yep, could be … 😉
As long as I don’t lose my marbles … 😉
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Oh honey… I swore I saw one roll over to one of mine that was going its own way…
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Well, then at least my marbles aren’t COMPLETELY lost (not if they’re hanging out with other marbles … ;))
😉
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That exactly what I was thinking… they like a certain kind of company 😉
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🙂 Marbles with good sense, thems are!
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Thems are indeed!
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I was sure he was about to set off a bomb. At least it’s only spaceships! I hope they’re friendly.
I loved the second paragraph with the luggage 🙂
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🙂 I hope they’re friendly, too! Perhaps they can start an express line to the moon or some such?! 🙂
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If he is undertaking a space travel, his watch will become irrelevant. Concept of time may be different based on a different solar system. It is exciting to say the least.
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Ah, indeed, time might shift, time might change, time may not at all be the same again! 🙂
Great comment, Abhijit! 🙂
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A good story well written, Na’ama. From what I’ve been hearing on the news, their ships may just be watching and leaving. I can’t say I blame them. We are a war-like people and abusing our planet. Left luggage is kept for a while and then sold. If we don’t survive, the aliens will probably sell it. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Ah, that makes sense … 😉 I’d wait and watch, too, and wonder whether the Earthlings are going to do my work for me. As for luggage — yes, the brother of a friend of mine used to work in a warehouse where such luggage was sent. It was auctioned after a certain amount of time passed if they remained unclaimed – sold closed so people bought the luggage sight unseen. Always made me sad to think about it.
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First I was thinking. Terrorist? But you eliminated that with the lit up space ships coming in for a landing. What I’m wondering is how he knew, as it seems no one else did.
This is truly an elegant piece of writing.
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Ah, Linda, but I am not so sure he KNEW ‘knew’ himself … Perhaps he was just musing, in the sufficiently-bored-to-imagine-anything state of some people in travel-terminals (who shall remain unnamed … ;)), or he was, perhaps, not quite human at all … an advance party …? Who knows …
😉
Thanks for reading and for the kind comment!
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Well-written. Good twist.
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Thank you! 🙂
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Like Rochelle, I expected a bomb and didn’t see the spaceships coming. Beautiful writing, the lost luggage is and image that’ll stay with me for a while. Let’s hope the Aliens are friendly.
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🙂 Yeah, me hope the aliens be nice, too … 😉
Thanks for reading and commenting!
🙂
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