Photo Prompt © Ted Strutz
She sat with her nose glued to the window, ignoring the roar of the engines and the bawdy chatter in her headphones.
It was cloudy when they’d taken off, with only little visibility. Now miles of forests stretched in all directions, the greenery as dense and impenetrable as her father’s face the last time she’d seen him, brooding and taciturn even by his own standards.
A glint of water sparkled in the distance and the pilot banked to the right to circle toward the lake. Suddenly she could not breathe.
It’s been a long ten years.
For Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers
You’ve caught that moment, so few words, so much depth.
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Thank you, Crispina! 🙂
Depth in more than one way! Nice! 🙂
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Yea
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🙂 You totally got it! 🙂
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Oh, that’s good, that’s very good. I love the way you show us her complete focus on where she’s going. I love the way your reveal isn’t a reveal but an implication, but which is no less definite than if you spelled it out. And your description of her father’s impenetrable face matching the impenetrable forest gives her ample cause for apprehension.
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Thank you, Penny! Your comment makes me so very happy! 🙂 Hopefully one indeed wonders what had happened, why so long away, why now … and what will be … Love your comment!
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The linking of her father with nature is great
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Thank you, Neil!
When something is on one’s mind, perhaps all gets connected to it? I’m so glad it got communicated!
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Powerful sense of anticipation of is to come when the plane touches down and she has to step out and take the last steps of her journey.
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Thank you! And yes, the last steps of this journey and maybe the first of another chapter of a continued one …
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On Golden Pond ?
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🙂
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Na’ama Y’karah,
How well you’ve captured her apprehension with the catch in her breath. The implications of the past between father and daughter gives us a build to an intricate backstory. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you, Rochelle! 🙂 What great feedback to get! I hope whatever it was, it is better now. …
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This was fabulous, Na’ama. You say so much in these 100 words.
Now we sit here and wonder what triggered her to leave for 10 years…and, what could possibly bring her back.
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🙂 Yay, Dale! I do love “fabulous” feedback! 🙂
Indeed, I wonder, too … why DID she leave, and why did she stay away for so long, and what brings her back, and what will happen next … Love this comment!
🙂 XOXO
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Sa-weet!
WE have us a love-fest going on here!
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🙂 XOXO
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xoxo
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Lots of backstory here. It’s not hard to make up all kinds of scenarios 🙂
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Hi Linda, I think there’s a lot of ways to go with this … and I’m glad you picked up on it, too! 🙂
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An intriguing tale with lots of possibilities. Brilliant.
My tale – ‘Plane sailing!’
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Thank you, Keith! 🙂 Yay hurray!
Off to read yours!
Na’ama
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Great write with great backstory.
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So glad you enjoyed it, Lisa!
🙂
Na’ama
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Good writing and setting the stage for what’s next.
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Thank you! Who knows what will happen next …
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You are welcome, Na’ama.
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She certainly was nervous and anxious to see her father after so many years.
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Indeed she was! I hope however it turned out, it was okay!
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msjadeli – You can feel the trepidation in the words of your story – vividly! You are really a great writer!
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Thank you, Nan! msjadeli also has a great blog (https://tao-talk.com/) … did you mean to respond there, or to this post? Either way, thank you for the comment! 🙂
Na’ama
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Great internal thought, Na’ama. You’ve taken us along with her as she thinks of the reunion with her father. Well written. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thank you, Suzanne! Love the feedback! I hope her reunion went as well as it could possibly go … though I suspect it couldn’t have been a comfortable one. … 🙂 Na’ama
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