Photo © Anshu Bhojnagarwala
“Mama,” Benny shook me. “Something’s in the bushes!”
I must’ve dozed off.
It had been nice to have the campgrounds for ourselves.
Till now.
“Perhaps a hare.” I tried. Would a campfire keep out cougars? I felt for my utility knife. Our only weapon. Ridiculous.
Benny frowned. “It’s crying.”
It was. My heart thumped as I stalked toward the sound.
My flashlight illuminated the tear-stained face of a child. A child?! She had to be younger than Ben. Alone?!
I gasped.
She shivered. Fear or cold or both?
“Come, Sweetie,” I cooed. “We won’t hurt you. Let’s get you warm.”
For Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers
Oh that is so heartbreaking!
Lucky for the little one that she was found by such a caring person…
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Yes, and it leaves one wondering — where ARE her people. Did they leave her because they saw she might be safe? Did she find the woman and boy? How long has she been alone? What is going on? But … yes, for now she’s in safe hands, and I hope this mama will get some reinforcements in sooner rather than later … For there can be more dangerous things than cougars in the wild.
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Yes, it does leave us wide open for many questions…
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You’ve given us a story with a double twist. Our first thought is that the sound is a threat. Fear. Grim preparations. A knife. Second thought and twist number one “But it’s only a little girl. The poor mite!” Relief!
Only then do we think in twist number two “Where did the girl come from? Where are her parents? Why are they hiding…?” And back comes the fear, only more so.
Clever writing Na’ama!
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Thanks, Penny! You totally got it and I’m glad it was communicated … For there are things more dangerous than cougars in the wild.
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Wow. Someone who really was “raised by wolves.”
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Or … left by some humans who may be lesser parents than wolves … or survived a tragedy that left her alone … or … who knows!
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Wow! You’ve really left us hanging here. I feel like we’ve just read part 1… a wonderful lead in; I want more!
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🙂 Well, perhaps there will be more at some point … but it sure does leave more questions than answers … as many rescue stories of children can. And do.
Some of my work involves working with children who were adopted from orphanages abroad, where often the history of the child is unknown for anything before they were brought to, left at, or deserted in the orphanage. Especially where infants are concerned, caregivers can only guess at the history and realities that child had lived and was exposed to. There is no one to tell their story, and more often than not, no letter pinned to the blankets. Very often, not even a name.
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Very powerful! I’m intrigued by the work you do. Trauma is a fascinating, and personal, topic for me.
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I hear you, Dawn. I think it is for all too many. My hope is that one day it will be a personal topic for fewer and fewer children and the adults they (hopefully) grow up to be.
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Amen! xo
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Na’ama Y’karah,
As others have said, you left me hanging and wondering where the child came from. Did she wander off? Was she abandoned? This almost feels like the beginning of a larger story. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you, Rochelle. I think any rescue (or attempt at) is the beginning of a larger story even as it might be the continuation of a big story that had already began. …
I left a response to Dawn’s comment to that effect, and as for the realities of ‘before’ and ‘what next’ that may have watered some of the seeds of this story. But, yes, it can go more than one way, and for that little one’s sake, things improve henceforth. …
Thanks Rochelle!
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Hmmm – this could go both ways, couldn’t it? A horror story or a rescue tale – very interesting!
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Indeed it could go both ways … and one can assume that at least for one of the characters, some horror had already taken place, be it intentional or accidental. I’m glad you saw the ‘two ways’ in this!
🙂
Thank you for the comment, Jennifer!
Na’ama
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So sad to understand the reality of life, with its cruel twists and turns
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Indeed, Michael! You summarized it very well! Thank you, Na’ama
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I dread to think how she ended up hiding in the bushes there, not a happy reason I’m sure.
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Yes, Iain, exactly! I think this does leave us wondering–as we should–what she’s doing there and how she got there and where her people are and whether whatever danger that had led to her isolation is lurking still. …
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Oh that leaves a million unanswered questions. Excellent.
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🙂 Here’s to many questions left! 🙂
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Who would leave a child in a camp ground? Only very cold hearted people, I think.
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Indeed only cold-hearted people will leave a child in a campground. Then again, we don’t know what the circumstances are, exactly. Was she left? Did she get lost? Is someone looking for her? Was there an accident and the adult/s she was with were hurt or died? Did she escape some kind of danger? Is danger – in whatever form – still nearby?
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What kind of people can leave their child alone? Has she been traumatized or has she run away? Of course, there are various questions that need to be answered.
https://evergreenleaf.blogspot.com/2019/02/fire-deity-agni-dev.html
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Exactly? Or has there been an accident and the adult/s she was with were hurt? Where are they? Did some danger find them? Is it still around? Yep, lotta questions …
Thanks for the comment! 🙂
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A suspenseful story, I wasn’t expecting that ending. So many questions raised, a deeper story to be told. Or, maybe a greater danger lurks in the dark. Well done!! 🙂
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Yes and yes and yes!
Thank you!
Na’ama
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At least now she’s in safe hands. Intriguing.
Click to read my FriFic tale!
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Yes, at least for the moment she is in safe and caring hands. As for the questions that remain – on how she’d come to be alone and why and whether she (and others) are still in danger – it remains to be seen. But for the moment, yes, she’s in good hands.
Thanks!
Na’ama
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The story took us through a range of emotions, but it leaves the reader with a sense of foreboding. If there is a child… how far behind can there be an adult?
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Indeed … how far behind is an adult, and what is the condition of that adult, and why … and what does that portend for the mama and boy and this child?
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I hope it turns out all right, the child probably left her own tent and has got lost and attracted by the fire. See how we all care so much. Well done for making us care.
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Thanks, John! 🙂 Caring is a good thing. Caring about little ones is an excellent thing! 🙂
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So heartbreaking.
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Yes … and hopefully she is safer now than she’d been. …
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Wow, you really got my attention! What happened next? This is a great opening for a story or a book. Really very well written! Thanks!
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Thank you, Nan! I am so glad it got your attention and intrigued you. So many more questions left …
🙂
Na’ama
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I love this story… but it’s also a scary to ponder how a child can end up like that… you had me thinking
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Yes, isn’t it? So many more questions than answers …
Thank you for the feedback and I’m so glad you liked it! 🙂
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A child! That came as surprise. Good that she is in safe hands.
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Yes, it is good she’s in safe hands … and now come the questions of how she’d come to be where she was found …
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No, I am not asking. I hope you will tell that in another tale 😀
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😀
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