PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot
It was taking so long.
His uncle had instructed him to not leave the hall till he returned. He knew better than to defy the order.
He circled the room and looked at the paintings. He imagined conversations among sailors on the merchant ships, between soldiers on the frigates. He polished the marble counter with his sleeve. When he tired, he sat against a lamppost and pretended it was a smokestack.
The hall echoed emptiness.
He was getting cold. He was growing hungry. He needed to pee.
Only when night fell did he finally cry.
His uncle had sailed away.
For Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers
Na'ama Yehuda 
Scary thing for a kid to go through.
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Yes. Very. Sadly this is still a reality for some children in some places, and even to some of the children I’d worked with, who were abandoned (whether their caregivers chose to not return or were prevented from returning for them). It is always a heartbreak and every separation after that is traumatic.
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Beautifully written but what a heartbreaking story, you’ve captured the emotions so well.
A minor suggestion that can save you 2 words if you change “When he tired, he sat” to just “Tired, he sat”.
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Thank you for the comment, and for the suggestion. As it happens I think I’ll keep it as is, because for me these extra words lend a ‘stretch’ to the passage of time where doing all that waiting had gradually tired him, versus a realization of becoming tired and sitting. Of course, it may be more a tone than a difference in semantic meaning. Nonetheless a good suggestion if I’d needed to cut words more. As it happens, I was just okay with these two words in. I appreciate the idea, though! 🙂 Na’ama
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A very sad story and one I think some children fear before it ever happens.
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Yes. And some children alas do endure. Whether because the adult abandoned them willfully or because circumstances – political, medical, accidental – created tragedies where adults who wants to return could not, and the children remained stranded, in effect, waiting for someone who did not come. 😦 Na’ama
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Oh God, what a disgusting guy!
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Alas over history similar abandonments had taken place–and still do, in some places. Then there are those tragic cases where one intends to return but does not, be it because of political unrest or corruption that create separations that are no less devastating to the children who wait and wait and wait for someone’s return. 😦
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Hauntingly put. I could read the emptying of the room
How many times has this happened?
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Over history this had happened oh-so-many-times … 😦
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Poor children.
Is there anything so sad as an abandoned, frightened, weeping child?
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I don’t think there’s much sadder than that. Broken hearted children are heartbreaking. Literally.
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Indeed.
It is one of those things I find unbearable.
In this world after all these ages of mistakes these tragedies should not still be happening.
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I wholly agree.
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Beautifully done and heartbreaking… The poor boy.
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Yeah. I think of other kids, around the world, waiting for caregivers who would not or cannot show up. I’ve worked with some. I know of others. It always breaks my heart.
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Did you ever see the movie with Mare Winningham called “God Bless the Child”?
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Nope. Should I look it up?
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It’s heart breaking. The only way to save her daughter is to make it look like she abandons her… old movie…
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😦 I think I’ll pass even if only because I know some variations on the theme in real life children. But yes, some of these ‘choices’ are always, ALWAYS, heartbreaking.
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I don’t blame you…
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Na’ama Y’karah,
Such a haunting and heartbreaking story. It made me want to put my arms around the boy and take him home. Beautifully written.
Shalom,
Rochelle
https://rochellewisoff.com/2018/10/24/26-october-2018/
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Thank you, Rochelle. All too many children are in dire circumstances where they need exactly that: someone to put their arms around them to take them home. Hugs! Na’ama
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The tension is built perfectly here. Such a sad ending.
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Thanks, Linda. Yes, sad ending. Still too real for too many children in this world.
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This is so sad.
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Thank you, Lisa. Yes, it is … and it’s sadly been the reality for so many children over history, and still is, for all too many children, when their caregivers fail to come get them or are prevented from doing so.
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Sad story that is repeated too often around the world. The uncle could have met an untimely end or was in an accident & whisked away, but his telling to stay put. Don’t leave. Sounds more like planned abandonment.
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Yes, repeated too often, and for all manner of reasons: perhaps it was a planned abandonment, perhaps like you said, he had every intention to return but was prevented from doing so or met disaster. For a child, the end result is a tragedy either way. Thank you for the comment!
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